My Good Day Practice is a simple technique that has transformed the way I look at a day. Even during happy periods in my life, I realized I was getting to the end of a day often worn out and stressed. I wasn’t ending the day thinking to myself, “That was a good day.” The strange thing is, when I started revisiting the day itself, I had often done plenty of what makes me happy. There was a disconnect between how I felt and what had really happened.
Why wasn’t I consciously measuring a day as good if I did enjoyable things and was overall happy? I realized that the missing piece for me was presence. I wasn’t being fully present in my life. I sometimes get stuck going from one thing to the next, satisfying a to-do list. Even my free time, which got filled with things I loved, felt like a list of things I needed to get through. I was getting carried away with productivity instead of just enjoying whatever I was doing at that moment.
The interesting thing is, enjoying what I was doing didn’t make me less productive. It just reordered the priority of what I chose to do and when. By really sensing what I wanted to do next, I capitalized on natural energy or fascination I had for an activity. This blended curiosity, fun, deeper enjoyment, and getting things done.
It’s not realistic for most of us to have all day to just follow our bliss. What about when you need to attend a work meeting, pick the kids up from school, or cook something quickly for dinner?
I’ve found that with mandatory tasks, I need to just stay in what I’m doing. Getting carried away with what I’d rather be doing, planning the next thing, or trying to get through as fast as possible left me feeling miserable because I was focused on the future instead of the present.
Pace was also a key factor in enjoying what I’m doing. If I’m pushing myself at top speed, I just feel stressed. Rushing is refusing to accept what is. Taking my foot off the accelerator allowed me to enjoy the task at hand, even if I accomplished one less thing in a day. There is always more doing in the doing. I was pushing myself to get everything done so that I could have a moment with nothing to do, which I thought I’d find relaxing. But I didn’t always make it to that moment. By reprioritizing the list, I could make sure I got a moment of rest or some time for fun before I finished everything.
What I found was that if my reward was always at the bottom of a busy list, I didn’t always get to it even if I worked hard. What I was doing was, in essence, saying that something that was really important and brings me joy, was less important than errands or an ever-expanding to-do list.
Here are a few other parts of the Good Day Practice that can support you: the Joy List, the Daily Reflection, and the String of Good Days.
Joy List
A Joy List is a good thing to have. Making one involves sitting down and writing a list of the things that reliably bring you joy. It’s just a good thing to know about yourself. A Joy List is a list of things that generally make you feel better. Examples may be a nature walk, yoga, meditation, a favorite song, painting, sitting in the hot tub etc.
When I’m feeling stressed, a little down, or imbalanced in my body, I can go to my Joy List and pick something that grabs my attention. Almost always, it will lift my mood or make me feel a little better in my body. I might choose something different based on what I’m going through. If my body is feeling off, I may target something that really pampers the body like a massage, for example.
You have to make your own list. The more things you have on there that reliably work, the more you have to choose from when you need it. This is about creating a personal practice for checking in and tending to yourself. Carve out a little time and a personal space to gve yourself a gift off the list.
Daily Reflection
The Daily Reflection is a technique where I take one minute to go backwards in my day and acknowledge what I’ve done. This is best done with your eyes closed, in quiet, at the end of the day. You can do it in bed at night as long as you don’t regularly fall asleep before getting through it.
This is slightly different from a gratitude practice. I find the Daily Reflection narrows in on smaller moments. When I typically do a gratitude practice, I tend to zoom out and be grateful for my wife, kids, health, our house etc. It’s important to do that too, but the Daily Reflection is about the small stuff.
String of Good Days
The last technique to support the good day practice is the String of Good Days concept. When I think about what it would mean to have a good life, it’s just too big to tackle. I start thinking about some goals that last decades. Setting long-term intentions is a good thing, but for me, focusing on one day is more digestible.
We have to realize that if you focus on having a good day today and keep doing that, you will end up with a string of good days. That translates into having a good life.
The other thing I like about focusing on having a good day is that it doesn’t have to be a great day. Some of my days are great, but not all of them. It’s just not realistic for me in the wild, beautiful mess of life to have my best day everyday. That’s ok. This gives me room for the ups and downs that real life brings. Turns out I don’t need everyday to be great, though there will be those. Aiming for good feels more attainable and points me in the direction of great.
I’ve found that with the Good Day Practice—supported by my Joy List, the Daily Reflection, and focusing on a String of Good Days—I’ve been really happy. And the joy arises naturally, right before me in the life I’m creating moment to moment. Take this with you and make it yours. I wish you a long series of good days.
Many Blessings,
tyler
